NT 6: The light that shines in darkness

(My post on Abortion has been moved to a new essays page, available here. The light that shines in darkness was written at the same time but I neglected to publish it. It is dated to reflect my original publishing intent.)

Early last week my husband introduced the Book of John to our kids. He talked about how Jesus has many different titles including “the word.” I built on this foundation later in the week when we talked about Christ being “the light that shines in darkness” (John 1:5, 9, NT).

We were gathered in the kitchen for dinner when I decided to share the scripture and talk about how Jesus is “the true light.” I had already turned off most of the lights in that part of the house and it was dark outside. I recapped my husband’s lesson from a few days before to ready their minds. All of the girls screamed and the baby started to cry when I turned off the rest of the lights! It was pitch dark. I talked to the kids about light and it’s importance to our lives. They told me how difficult it was to see or do anything in the darkness.

Then I twisted the bulb on one of my window candles; the light was small but it penetrated the darkness. We talked about how Christ’s light shines in the darkness, how that light can spread from one person to those around them. I turned on more lights as I talked.

This visual created a memorable experience for my kids to which we referred in subsequent days. It also sparked my memory as I mourned the loss of a dear but geographically distant friend last week.

Ten years ago this month I found myself in a really dark point in my life. My environment was dark and cold (winter in Northern Europe), I felt alone and isolated, I was still experiencing some culture shock, and I was very, very unhappy. I walked into a mid-week Ward Council meeting for my new ward and saw her. Jenn was nursing her baby, an American in a foreign land, speaking her second language beautifully and contributing to this council meeting. A light sparked in my life. I came to admire Jenn for the goodness and light she exuded. Her delightful family, her spirit-filled household, her model discipleship filled me with hope for my own future. The light of Christ shone out of her and provided warmth as well as an objective for my lonely path. There was light even in the midst of my dark night.

The light that Jenn provided for me shone out from her quiet but compelling belief in Jesus Christ. Her discipleship continues to inspire me and impel me to share that same light with others.

Day 25: Choose to Believe

Mosiah 8:20-21

O how marvelous are the works of the Lord, and how long doth he suffer with his people; yea, and how blind and impenetrable are the understandings of the children of men; for they will not seek wisdom, neither do they desire that she should rule over them!

Yea, they are as a wild flock which fleeth from the shepherd, and scattereth, and are driven, and are devoured by the beasts of the forest.

In my quest to become a disciple of Jesus Christ (to be serviceable and obedient), I have noticed my own predilection for contrariness. A big part of me fights against being obedient, following the promptings of the Spirit, and desiring godly things enough to act. For example, I knew I needed to serve a mission for a long time before I could bring myself to even fill out the paperwork. As I tried to bring myself around to this personal commandment, I began praying for a desire to serve. Like Ammon exclaimed to Limhi in Mosiah 8:20, the Lord suffered long with me: He was patient and kind and helped me prepare to serve well even as I “fled” from Him.

The Prophet Brigham Young taught that sometimes members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints “live far beneath [their] privileges” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. by John A. Widtsoe [1954], 32; qtd in New Testament Teacher Manual, Lesson 30). Certainly Ammon thought so of humankind in general! And while God will suffer long with us because He loves us, if we want to learn the mysteries of God, gain wisdom, and achieve our greatest potential, we have to choose to believe, we have to act out of an inner desire to learn and achieve.

I know from experience that the path of discipleship is no cake walk. Maybe you, like me, “tremble inwardly at what may be required” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Consecrate Thy Performance”, General Conference [Apr. 2002]). But, whatever you do, don’t run away! Choose to believe, pray for a desire to believe if you need to. The Lord will suffer long with you and He will help you not only become your best self, but He will help you achieve marvelous good in this life and receive eternal life in the next.