BoM 2: Supporting My Spouse in a Demanding Church Calling

Now I know of a surety…that the Lord…hath given [us] power whereby [we] could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded [us]. (1 Nephi 5:8, BoM)

Several years ago my husband was asked to serve as the leader of an inner-city branch. We loved our branch and the wonderful people we served and served with.

Soon after the stake set apart my husband, I had a dream one night. We were driving our Jeep in a foreign city that I recognized from my mission. My husband was behind the wheel and our one-year-old daughter was buckled safely in her car seat in back. In the dream I became increasingly worried about my husband’s driving. He was driving carelessly, looking at everything but the road and the traffic around us. We found ourselves approaching a set of traffic lights with multiple crossings of one-directional traffic. Just ahead and perpendicular to our line of traffic I could see a barrier and a harbor immediately beyond. My husband drove straight through the light, crossed traffic, and broke the barrier, plunging us into the water. I struggled to free myself from the seatbelt and, remembering our daughter, I turned to try and free her. My husband by this point had already freed himself and was swimming for the surface. My daughter and I could not get out.

I awoke, terrified, but not at a loss for the meaning of the dream. In waking hours I had begun to worry about the amount of time my husband was spending on his church calling and not on his school work or with our family. I expressed my concerns to my husband following the dream, relating its events and my interpretation. I was legitimately afraid for our family’s future.

Sariah expressed similar concerns to her husband, Lehi, about the safety of her children and health of her family. “[S]he…complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying: Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness” (1 Nephi 5:2, BoM). They had taken a huge step into the unknown by obeying the Lord’s commandment to leave Jerusalem. They were also taking a huge risk sending their sons back to Jerusalem to obtain a sacred record from a dangerous man at the Lord’s command.

Lehi, ever confident in his calling and the instructions of the Lord, comforted Sariah the best he could, bearing his testimony of the goodness of God. When Nephi and his brothers returned to the family camp safe and with the brass plates in hand, Sariah exclaimed: “Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them” (1 Nephi 5:8, BoM).

I similarly learned an invaluable lesson about supporting my spouse in church service. Rather than let preoccupation with my dream feed my fears, I turned my attention to serving our branch with equal love and diligence. Rather than complain when my husband informed me he would be gone all day Sunday or had to step out unexpectedly on church business, I learned to say, “good luck, be safe; I will see you when I see you.” As I supported my husband in his responsibilities, I witnessed the same truth Sariah learned: the Lord protected, blessed, and prospered our family.

A few examples that taught me the goodness of God and demonstrated His willingness to bless when we serve Him and follow His commandments:

  • While driving between my parents’ home and my in-law’s at 6 months pregnant, with my one year old in the car, I was struck by a tractor trailer. Not only were we able to walk away from our totaled car merely shaken and without a single physical injury, the company paid us generously for our totaled vehicle and gave us extra money.
  • The minivan we purchased after the accident ran perfectly at over 250,000 miles for 3.5 years (until my husband was released…then it started falling apart).
  • We had two healthy children born while serving and they rarely got sick.
  • Despite the terrible quality of roads everywhere we drove on church service, we only ever had one flat tire on each of our cars in 4.5 years, and both flats manifested conveniently at our home.
  • I was handed multiple opportunities to hone my musical talents through music service which provided me with a creative outlet, increased my personal joy, and resulted in significant spiritual growth as well.
  • When a promised job fell through just before my husband graduated with his doctorate (and we had no back up plan), the Lord sent us a friend who recommended a totally different career path. My husband’s church service became some of the most impressive parts of his resume and he successfully got a (much better) job less than five months after our initial disappointment.

The wonderful thing about church service is that the whole family can participate, not just by being supportive in word. As I participated in our branch, serving in multiple callings at the same time, doing informal service, with my young children in tow, I witnessed first hand how God strengthened, protected, and blessed our family. I will forever preach to friends, family, and strangers that the Lord blesses and prospers individuals and families when they lose themselves in church service.

Day 80: Did go to work

Ether 2:16

The brother of Jared sets a powerful example of diligence and obedience. The Jaredite group has spent several years living near the sea after being led out of Babel by God. When the Lord commands the brother of Jared to “Go to work and build” barges to travel to a promised land, the scriptures record his reaction: “And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did go to work…and built barges…according to the instructions of the Lord” (Ether 2:16). I love the simplicity of this statement––it speaks volumes! There was no hemming and hawing, no equivocating, just going and doing, and following instructions.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life thinking about working, thinking about what God has asked me to do, thinking about a school assignment or paper, mentally performing the work but feeling oh so reluctant to actually do it. I have definitely increased my stress level on more than one occasion with this type of procrastination. I have even scared myself out of a project because in my head it seems so much more difficult/onerous/time-intensive. One thing I have worked on in recent years is learning to just jump in, especially if it’s a church responsibility or personal revelation. It’s really easy to talk myself out of doing something good so I have tried to minimize the over-thinking and maximize the doing! I fall short of this goal often, but I do feel like I have made progress toward following the Spirit promptly and managing my stress level.

Like the brother of Jared, I can be more prompt and positive in my responses to God’s invitations.

 

Day 63: Return again

Helaman 13:2-3

At this point in Book of Mormon history, most Lamanites are now baptized and keeping the commandments. A Lamanites by the name Samuel begins preaching in Zarahemla. He warns the people of their imminent destruction but they do not respond well. “[T]hey did cast him out, and he was about to return to his own land. But behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him, that he should return again, and prophesy unto the people” (Helaman 13:23). Samuel was extremely dedicated to his calling and was highly invested in fulfilling his assignment.

Samuel the Lamanite’s willingness to turn around, not go home, and return to a place he knows he’s not welcome reminds me of a media referral we received in my last city. The young man who requested a copy of the scriptures wasn’t home but his dad answered the door. We started out by leaving the scriptures with the dad; we said our goodbyes and started to walk away. The Spirit told me to go back and knock again. We returned to the home, knocked, and talked to the father again. We ended our doorstep conversation and started walking away. Again, the Spirit told me to go back. I was a little afraid of repeatedly interrupting this man, but I had to follow the Spirit. The man was very nice (perhaps even a little amused). The third time we knocked on his door, we taught him a brief lesson and prayed with him.

There will come a time when God asks you to “return again.” How will you respond?